I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
