I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
