Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So vagazzling was a success
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