He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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