Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Umm I'm too high to move.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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