Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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