my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
