Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
