Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
