well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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