I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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