True but thats because hes a fetus.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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