can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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