I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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