Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
