Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
