my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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