is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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