if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think weed is turning my hair brown
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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