If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
