I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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