My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I believe in your delicious
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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