Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
