He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
