thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
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I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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