We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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