Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
