Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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