you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
