is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
