just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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