Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
