I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
