sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
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He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I love you. Go after that dick
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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