no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
