i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
