what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
