The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
