She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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