So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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