I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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