mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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