sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
