How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize