OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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