I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
