Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
