Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
