smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
