I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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