I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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