Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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