hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
