I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
