is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
