Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
two words...techno handjob
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
