I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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