just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
