the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
