I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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