ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
