if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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